July 16, 2010
I was already at the library building at 20 to 7am. Zali joined me about 8am after breakfast with Bro. I reckon Bro was leaving to the hospital to see Dr. Roslan. So there you have it – just me and Zali, carrying all the boxes on our own to the top floor. Although it is just one floor high, it poses a big challenge when you do it for 132 times. My gastrocnemius muscle was beginning to show signs of stress and pain on my left leg. I had to stop a few times to reduce the pain.
Right after Friday prayers, I went back to the library to perform a ‘solo ops’ i.e. distributing the boxes of PCs and monitors to their respective computer labs. There were three computer labs, two access centers and one multimedia lab.
So there I was, alone. The sound of the squeaking wheels of the trolley seemed to be like a melody of a sentimental song. Deep in my thought, I wonder what would happen next. I lost three of my best men within a month – Adik, Kembar and Bro. That was and still is the most upsetting thing that has ever happened in my career. I could not bear the thought of seeing them leave.
I sat at a corner in the lab overlooking the academic building. I looked outside and my mind was playing the memories I had with my men. The great days of my team has come to an end. As I glimpsed the faces of my men, I can’t stop my tears from falling. I just had to cry my heart out. There I was alone in the lab crying like a five year old kid. Allah, am I a failure? Am I not a good leader?
Rain started to fall shortly after Asar. I had to leave my daydreaming for a while and move the whole 132 boxes of monitors further into the building so as not to let them get wet. I continued disbursing the boxes a bit more after that before successfully putting them all in the labs.
I left SEMESTA around 9pm. On the way I stopped over at a bank in Kampar to check my balance. I bit my lips when I saw only two ringgit and eighty-eight sen being shown on the monitor. Looks like the claims are still not in yet. I drove right away into the drizzling dark night like a lone wolf, downhearted.
