The Midnight Stroll

July 29, 2010, Roslan Orthopedic Clinic, Pantai Hospital

“Ilyas, ni kena jaga betul-betul ni. Waktu surgery dulu, I removed the nucleus polposus kat dalam intervertebral disc yang ni… (drawing the lumbar four and five). Sekarang ni kalau you tak jaga posture, and the way you move and carry heavy load, there is a possibility dia jadi balik. Cumanya kali ni tak semestinya kat disc yang sama, but kat lumbar three and four.. atau moving upwards at one and two, or two and three”, explains Dr Roslan Razak, consultant orthopedic surgeon. He was the doctor who operated my spine in 2007. He then added, “At least you pandai jaga sebab bertahan sampai sekarang. Ada yang setahun je pun, dah jadi balik”.

I was in pain the night before. It really gave me the creeps because it felt like my spinal is injured. Luckily I still have some celebrex tablets. But still, my left leg is still painful. I had to crawl to the edge of the bed and drop my legs before I could stand up. Dr. Roslan gave me more celebrex tablets and also some neurontins. He said I should come back and see him in two weeks. In the mean time, it’s physio again. The SM of Contact Center had issued an email notifying everyone about frozen leaves. But heck, my MC from Dr. Roslan is legal. So I’m going off. At least my newly appointed superior KM is considerate by understanding my problem and advising me to take care of myself through his email.

July 30, 2010; corner of Jalan Daud, Kampung Baru.

“Huiyoo… tengok saper datang?”.

“Wey brader! Lu salah tempat ke? Ahahahaah…. Wey, bila lu sampai?. Ngapa muka lu macam rim bas Hino? Ahahaahh”

The guys greeted me with laughter. My old friends Choi, Mat Toy (who is also my cousin), Ayem and Puad were busy playing checkers when I arrived. The time was 10pm.

I wonder where my other cousin Jali is. He usually hangs out with others around this time.

“Jali dah pindah, dia pergi Senai. Kena transfer sana”, said Mat Toy.

“Laa… ngaper tak bagitau aku?”

“Dia lupa la tuh. Aritu dia kata nak tepon lu, tapi dia sebok kot. Wey, lu apa bikin sini?”, asked Choi.

“Aku ada exam. Aku amik exam agen insurance kat Damansara”

The rest of the night we talked about what’s new; our old friends, the once-a-hot girls, the usual stuff. There was laughter all night, with glasses of drink coming in one after another. Then Puad started the serious talk.
“Wey Yan, lu bila nak balik KL? Wa cakap lu ek, mak bapak lu dah tua bang. Nak harapkan Tapa (my younger brother), dia tu dok sibuk manjang dengan keje and tolong bisnes bini dia. Pak Ndak (the name they call my dad) ada cakap dengan wa pasal nak tarik lu balik KL. Lu budak KL, brader. Budak anak jati KL, bapak pun budak Kampung Baru. Apa barang lu bikin kat Ipoh tu? Balik la wey. At least abang lu dok Penang, taklah macam lu, ceruk ketiak gajah lu duduk!.”

I told him it is not me who does not want to come back to KL. It is fated that my job requires me to be in KL. I am not in a powerful position to overcome that. Although the Company sucks, I don’t see myself coming back in the near future.

I added, “Tapi aku akan cuba cari kerja kat KL ni. Aku dah tinggalkan KL lama sangat dah. Aku tau tu. Sabar-sabarlah. Insya’Allah satu hari nanti, aku akan balik jugak”. We then started singing while Puad plays the guitar. Overall the night was fun. For a moment I had forgotten about work.

Later closer to midnight, I took a stroll down town along Chow Kit, up until the end of Jalan TAR. The streets were still bustling with vehicles. Not knowing where else to go, I just accelerated and followed where my hands turn the steering wheel. There were so many things in my mind then. By the time I had realized where I was, my car stopped just a few blocks from a friend’s house at a Minang area in Cheras. I wonder if he would still remember me if I drive pass his house.

Ah well. He might probably be too busy to notice even if I stop in front of his gate, I thought. And so I left.

I reached my parents' house by 2am. Both mom and dad had gone to sleep. I changed my outfit and went to bed. I miss my friends at the Company, and my men.

Mom's Wish vs Personal Achievement

July 28, 2010; 6.40pm

I looked at the newly installed PCs on the tables which I had fixed earlier. For the past two days I’ve been working on the lab. Imagining a theatrical trailer, I said to myself.

“256 PCs…..

256 tables….

69 printers….

1 man….

Based on the number one best selling novel….

Ilyas Yahya… “My men and I sweated blood out there on the field just to make sure that people like you sit comfortably in your chair! You can’t even wear my shoes to do my work because you can’t even tie your shoes without permission, can you?!!”

Ghazali Seman… “This…. is madness. This is complete madness”

Jenny Liew…. “When I look at the truck load of tables… oh my God…!”

and Yahya Sulaiman… “You took an oath… you gave your word to the Islam…”

Paramount Pictures presents… this summer’s most electrifying motion picture….

“SEMESTA”

Miracles do happen, that’s what I always believe. Today, Alhamdulillah after spending two days at Semesta, I have managed to install 31 tables and 31 PCs completely. The best part is I did it all by myself. Yup… you heard me. I did it all by myself. Alone!

It felt good alright! Damn good! Now who said I can’t do it?! I bet none of the senior managers at the Company could accomplish that in two days, aye? All they know is talk, and talk, and more talking. Bloody *toot* *tooooot* @&%*. Then again, let them talk. Soon they’ll be out of topic to talk about, when whatever they say can be countered.

After maghrib prayers I start my long journey back home. I was so tired that I had to stop in Temoh. Looking at the name, I remember mom said that she was born here. I took out my phone and dialed her number. Dad answered.

“Angah, mak demam. Dah dua hari. Ayah dah pujuk dia gi klinik, tapi dia taknak”, he said. Dad himself sounded weak due to asthmatic.

“Angah, kalau ada peluang kerja kat KL, baliklah. Mak tu tak sihat. Lately mak pun dah lemah badan. Makan pun tak lalu. Mak patut pergi UH hari Selasa”, he added. I closed my eyes and think. I knew had to do something, and fast.

Ops SEMESTA: Lone Wolf

July 16, 2010

I was already at the library building at 20 to 7am. Zali joined me about 8am after breakfast with Bro. I reckon Bro was leaving to the hospital to see Dr. Roslan. So there you have it – just me and Zali, carrying all the boxes on our own to the top floor. Although it is just one floor high, it poses a big challenge when you do it for 132 times. My gastrocnemius muscle was beginning to show signs of stress and pain on my left leg. I had to stop a few times to reduce the pain.

Right after Friday prayers, I went back to the library to perform a ‘solo ops’ i.e. distributing the boxes of PCs and monitors to their respective computer labs. There were three computer labs, two access centers and one multimedia lab.

So there I was, alone. The sound of the squeaking wheels of the trolley seemed to be like a melody of a sentimental song. Deep in my thought, I wonder what would happen next. I lost three of my best men within a month – Adik, Kembar and Bro. That was and still is the most upsetting thing that has ever happened in my career. I could not bear the thought of seeing them leave.

I sat at a corner in the lab overlooking the academic building. I looked outside and my mind was playing the memories I had with my men. The great days of my team has come to an end. As I glimpsed the faces of my men, I can’t stop my tears from falling. I just had to cry my heart out. There I was alone in the lab crying like a five year old kid. Allah, am I a failure? Am I not a good leader?

Rain started to fall shortly after Asar. I had to leave my daydreaming for a while and move the whole 132 boxes of monitors further into the building so as not to let them get wet. I continued disbursing the boxes a bit more after that before successfully putting them all in the labs.

I left SEMESTA around 9pm. On the way I stopped over at a bank in Kampar to check my balance. I bit my lips when I saw only two ringgit and eighty-eight sen being shown on the monitor. Looks like the claims are still not in yet. I drove right away into the drizzling dark night like a lone wolf, downhearted.

Ops SEMESTA: Fall of "The Bro"

July 15, 2010.

At dawn, I woke up upon hearing the call for early morning prayers from the mosque nearby. Today is one important day where my team will move 132 boxes of PCs and 132 boxes of monitors from the temporary storage on the first floor of the academic building to the computer labs which are located on the first floor of the library. Good thing the school has a trolley which, from my initial sighting, could also be converted into a ramp to bring down those PCs.

The boxes will be carried through two staircases i.e. one going down to the ground floor at the academic building, and one going up to the first floor of the library. Since the trolley can be used as a ramp, moving the boxes down shall not be much of a problem. But carrying the boxes up to the first floor manually could really slow us down.

At 15kg each for PC and 4.5kg each for monitors, a total of 2.574 metric tons of weight will be carried by three men. That makes each one of us shall be carrying an average of 858kg throughout the process.

The process started at around 20 minutes to 9am. The plan was to move the boxes from the temporary store room at the office all the way to the last staircase at the east corner of the academic building. The distance is about 150 meters. Thanks to the trolleys, we were able to move the boxes by batches of 12 per cycle. Moving the PCs to the east corner of the academic building was not much of a challenge. We then used the trolley as a ramp to push down the boxes.

Just when I thought everything was okay, Bro suddenly fell when he was attacked by a muscle pain. Zali rushed to him and we could do nothing but to calm him down. He was in terrible pain, and from the looks of it, he seemed to be suffering of gluteus medius muscle strain. After battling with great internal muscle pain for about half an hour, Bro finally stood up and made his way back to the dormitory.

I looked at Zali, speechless.

“Allah, apalah nasib kita”, he griped. “Dahlah tinggal tiga orang, sekarang Bro pulak injured. Allah.”

I then stretched out on the tarmac. I just looked blankly to the ceiling at the pave way. Oh brother, life has got to be better than this! I wonder what’s going to happen next. I told Zali that we should bring down all the remaining boxes down before we take a break. But Zali has given up for that hour so we decided to stop for asar prayers.

Back at our dorm, Bro was still struggling to turn his body sideway. “Sakit, Yas”. I told him to relax while handed him a painkiller tablet which was given to me by Dr. Roslan. He looked up with puckered brows, “Yas, aku mintak maaf la. Aku rasa aku tak boleh nak join korang untuk habiskan kerja-kerja tu”. “It is okay, Bro. Get some rest”.

While waiting for Isyak prayers, I asked Zali about the rest of Ops SEMESTA. “Kalau ikutkan hati, aku pun benci buat kerja ni!. Kita kerja macam nak mati, orang lain dapat pergi Korea, team kita jadi kecik, kau pulak jadi kambing hitam… apa lagi?! Kalau tak kerana kau, aku memang takkan buat kerja ni. Aku akan senyum dan tengok je,” he complaints. I clearly understood his frustration. In this situation, who wouldn’t?

Right after Isyak, both Zali and I went back to the academic block to finish off what we started since morning. Zali didn’t talk much after that. We carried the boxes down one by one, until all the 132 boxes have been transferred under the stairs nearby the library. By the time I put the last box, it was already midnight and we finally call it quits. Tomorrow’s task would be to carry those boxes up the first floor to the labs. Zali had told me that he wanted to leave early because he had to drive down to KL for a family function. But he will assist me to bring those boxes up first before he leaves.

It looks like I’ll be disbursing the PCs to the labs on my own.

Ops SEMESTA: Go Figure!

Early morning of July 14, 2010.

I was driving through Tronoh Mines en route to Tapah when I got a call from the lorry driver. “Lias, lori sangkut kat Rawang! Overload, tayar dah panas ni ha. Jadi saya tunggu lori lagi satu datang, transfer barang. Saya mungkin lambat sikit, dalam lebih kurang pukul sepuluh setengah, begitulah”, he said.

First hiccup of the day, I thought.

In the mean time, Bro was already on his way. I alerted him about the delay. I need to think of something. There is a big pile of tables should be dropped in such a way that it is easy for my men to store the tables temporarily at the nearest classroom to the library on the ground floor, and it is also convenient for us to carry the tables to the first floor of the library (where the labs are). As I drove along the kampong settlement near Kampar, my mind was calculating the distance from the hall to the nearest spot before the stairs to the lab at the library. I had called the teacher in charge of the installation yesterday to have the porch at the hall emptied, so as to allow the lorry to park there to make it easier to access the pave way next to the hall.

Two obstacles that I can remember – first, there is a one-step high ground about 100 meters from the drop point. With 300kg of load on a trolley for each trip, it is merely impossible to move the load up the higher pave way to the classroom near the ground floor of the library.

Secondly, the tables are weighted at 18kg each. That means 256 tables’ total weight is about 4.6 tonnes. To carry the tables up to the first floor is partly a pain in the ass.

The 300kg per trip on the trolley can be easier if there’s a ramp. I recon there was a metal drain cover grill at the parking garage at the hall. I just hope it can be taken out so that we could use it as a ramp. That solves part of the problem for the one-step higher ground. Well, IF it works.

My greatest fear is injury. I have a history of slip disc, where the disc between lumbar four and five was dislocated sometime ago. Carrying heavy load worries me somehow because I remember Dr. Roslan said if I’m not careful, I may have the same problem again. At the same time, Bro has got the same problem too, only he didn’t undergo surgery because his was not as severe as mine. The only person who is fit (well, he should be) is Zali. But today Zali is not with us. He’s still in Ipoh to settle some cases and delivery of printers for CENCON order at SK Marian Convent.

As the driver parked his 1 tonne lorry, he was surprised to see me and Bro at the garage. “Korang berdua jer?”

“Yup, kami berdua je”, replied Bro. I could see the driver raised his eyebrows. Luckily he brought his trolley along, so that added some relieve.

And so there we were transferring the tables to the classroom. The ramp was there, and the whole process took about three hours. As usual there were some complaints about the management and the technical team was being mistreated. The lorry driver threw a question at me, “Lias, apa pendapat kau? Semua budak-budak tech ramai yang resign. Team korang pun tinggal berdua bila Bro berhenti”.

“Takpelah. Allah Maha Kaya. Saya masih ada kudrat untuk buat kerja-kerja ni semua. It can be done”.

There was absolute silence for a few minutes. I guess Bro understood my principle, and he shared his thought with the lorry driver.

By the time the call for Isyak prayers were heard, Zali arrived from Ipoh. We went out for a quick dinner and came back to carry those tables up the stairs to the first floor of the library. By midnight, we managed to carry 132 tables and AVRs. Tomorrow we’ll be carrying 132 PCs, 132 monitors and about 20 units of printers from the office to the library.

Calculate this:
1 unit of PC = 15kg
1 unit of monitor = 4.5kg
1 unit of printer = 13kg
Number of stairs to go through = two, i.e. one going down for one floor (from the office down to the library pave way), and one going up for one floor (from the pave way to the lab at the library building).
Total distance = about 250 meters.
Number of person = three (two with slip disc problems, so that makes it… hmmm.. one and a half!)

Tell me how many kilojoule of energy is needed. Go figure!

Ops SEMESTA

July 12, 2010; Tapah.

I look at my watch while leaning myself to the wall. It is twenty past three in the afternoon. The hot weather seems unbearable. I have been here at this school’s building for a couple of hours, planning for the drop shipment of one of the most biggest and most tedious delivery and installation of ICT items in the history of CENCON – Ops SEMESTA.

Among the items include 256 units of PCs, 69 units of laserjet printers, 256 units of tables, 17 units of projectors, 3 units of server s, 256 units of AVRs, and a few other various peripherals all listed in one single local order. The units will be installed at different places throughout the school complex with different combination of items.

The PCs comes in a set of two boxes which comprise of CPU terminal and a LCD monitor. So altogether there are 512 boxes, each totaling about 17 kilograms. The PCs have arrived earlier and is currently stored in one of the rooms on the first floor of the administration building together with the printers and servers. On the day the PCs arrived, Adik joined Zali and Bro to bring those PCs up to the store room and it took them almost six hours.

On Wednesday July 14, all three of us (Zali, Bro and I) will be going to Tapah to receive the goods. Some of the goods arrived last week. Bro is still doing what he could to help while he still can. If the installation is dragged for more than a week, that means we all have to come back and complete the whole installation, testing and commissioning of all the ICT items.

I know what’s on your mind. I am left with only Zali when Bro leaves next week. I am fully aware of that. Just this morning Jenny called and told me that she nearly fainted when she saw the 256 units of tables for SEMESTA. I know the numbers are big and there are only three of us to do the whole installation.

But then again, what is there to be afraid of? Miracles do happen, and I believe although we are short of manpower, we could still finish up the whole installation process. With proper planning, the most difficult task can be accomplished like a snap of a finger. After all, “Hey, ni Ilyas la. If NASA can shoot a washing machine up to the sky, I can sure bring it down!”.

One Day In Your Life

Sunday, July 4, 2010.

I was on my way back from KL when I heard this old song on the radio. I was so touched by the lyrics and beautiful melody.

One day in your life
you'll remember a place
Someone's touching your face
You'll come back and you'll look around you

One day in your life
You'll remember the love you found here
You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day...

One day in your life
When you find that you're always waiting
For the love we used to share
Just call my name
And I'll be there

You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day...

One day in your life
When you find that you're always longing
for the love we used to share
Just call my name
And I'll be there

For the past few weeks work has been miserable, more than nightmare in a day or two as I could recall. I have witnessed my two best men left their battle posts last month, and just a couple of days ago another one of my staff decided to end his career in the Company. He has not got a job as we speak. I reckon the same issues of inability to withstand the financial burden, added with an incident of brutal mental torture over the phone by one of the senior managers.

HCM sent me a message over the phone, “Have you talked it over with him? Kenapa boleh sampai berhenti? Dia dah ada kerja lain ke?”

I told HCM that I did not provoke him to leave, nor to stop him from leaving. It was entirely up to him. So Wan ‘Bro’ Azlan’s last day would be in about three weeks.

Good question, “what’s next?”

“Kita buatlah apa yang termampu”, said Zali. “Lagipun, apa yang Allah bagi keizinan kita buat, kita buatlah. Selebihnya, kita berserah”. He’s got a point.


I was in KL to visit my wife’s granduncle. To cut the story short, this granduncle of hers known as Atuk Cik is a well-mannered man, a person who “people would seek to cure the pain in the soul”. Being a ‘board member’ of Darul Syifa’, Atuk Cik has always been the center of reference whenever his relatives bump into a brick wall.

“Ko pergilah jumpa dia, Lias”, said Andak Ipah, my wife’s aunt. And so I went.

When I was at his house there was a part where he said, “Ni hati ni marah je ni, bengkek je”. Though he puts it in a joking manner, I fully understand what he meant. I admit that I sometimes look at others with a sarcastic face, and speak with sharp, low-toned harsh words. That is something I inherited from my father.

He taught me some stuff that I need to practice, and apply as norms of life. I guess from now on I will have to start changing the way I look and do things. I don’t know whether it or not it would work but heck, its worth to try. The most important thing is to believe in myself that I could do it, with the help of Allah swt.

I wonder what happen to my application that I sent through NA. I must say that it would be a dream come true if I have the chance to work in the aviation industry. Perhaps by then I can say that I believe I can fly!